PDR Time

6 Jan

Wine:  Come in, Sharon, and sit down

Me:  Thank you, may I say that you look particularly attractive this evening

Wine:  Flattery will not win you my attentions

Me:  You smell good too

Wine:  Lets move on, shall we.  So – lets look back over the last week and assess whether your bonus is due.  We shall consider the areas of resilience, personal responsibility, communication and decision making .  To begin, give me an example of when this week you have shown resilience.

Me:  err, well I have felt particularly unwell this week and whilst I did have to take one day off work to wallow on the sofa in a ball of snot, tissues and lemons, I did manage to get into work the next day.  More importantly, I pulled myself together, girded my loins – or at least GHD’d my hair and put on some slap – to go meet up with an old friend in the pub for a lovely catch up.

Wine:  that is excellent.  It is that sort of dedication to pub attendance, socialising and lipstick that we like in our line of business.  Now, what about personal responsibility.

Me:  hmm, this was potentially a difficult week for me.  Start of new year when everything is so different from how it was this time last year, I could have been tempted to call on your colleagues and just slump under the duvet and refuse to come out.  I couldn’t even run the crazy away (I refer you back to my being unwell).  Instead, I contacted some people and have started to deal with things more robustly.  I now choose to move forward.

Wine:  I am most impressed, though my colleagues were slightly disappointed to be ignored, particularly my Russian acquaintances  Absolut and Snow Leopard.

Me:  Oh I meant them no disrespect and I will surely avail of their services in the future, the near future.

Wine:  I am pleased to hear that, now – communication.  How have you performed in that area this week.

Me:  I was hindered in the later stages by a voice that sounds like Mariella Frostrup, if Mariella Frostrup gargled with gravel and then washed it down with JD and 30 Capstan.  However, I spent a week of meeting up with various friends and spending many happy hours chatting and planning and giggling and generally whiling away the time in pleasant conversation.

Wine:  It is looking very like you will be justly rewarded for such efforts you have put in this week.  But the most difficult part of the interview – decision making.

Me:  Oh that’s easy, I had a choice of around 18 bottles of red, plus white in the shed or Snow Leopard pleading to be mixed with diet pepsi, but I assessed my options in a dynamic fashion and plumped for a South African Pinotage… which brings me back to, you do  look particularly attractive this evening…

Wine:  Well Ms Falconer, I am pleased to tell you that your account of your activities has been most acceptable, you have retained a strong commitment to your ‘happy’ and have engaged well with others to assist that.  You have earned your bonus and now I sacrifice myself to you.

Me:   mmmmmmmmmm

An inquisitive and fruity South African


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