Tag Archives: adventure

Who are They?

13 Apr

I’ve skied off the top of a mountain attached to a parachute.  Not recently, but I’ve done it.

I’ve gone trekking in Nepal with a group of people I’d never met before.  Not recently, but I’ve done it.

I’ve changed career, drastically, despite being well settled.  Not recently, but I’ve done it.

I’ve moved from a small village to live in London for a job – which turned out not to be the job I thought it was, but I stayed anyway.  Not recently, but I’ve done it.

I’ve moved house, job and county for love; I’ve stayed up all night talking, dancing and laughing because I was having fun; I’ve kissed someone out of the blue just because we both felt it needed to be done; I’ve  challenged people because I felt it was the right thing to do; I’ve tried to run on stage at a concert because I was dared; I’ve bought a run down old bakery in another country, because I had a vision; I’ve sung rugby songs in a remote, foreign bar during a power cut with a group of Australians, because we were glad we were alive.   All these things I’ve done, not recently, but I’ve done it.

Not recently.

When did I stop being fearless?  When did I start worrying about what People would think?  When did I get scared that I wasn’t clever enough, or pretty enough, or strong enough, or grown up enough, or interesting enough or any of the thousand of things that run through my head when I think of taking a risk or accepting a challenge?  Who are They, anyway?  The People that make up the jury that I seem to think is sitting judgement on everything I do or say.  These imaginary People who sit in my head and question everything, always looking at what the worst that could happen might be.  Why do I care what They think?

When I was younger and trying to achieve something, my mum would ask if I’d done my best.  So long as I’d done my best, then that was good enough.  If my best was good enough for my mum, why am I worried that my best isn’t good enough for a group of imaginary people?

All those things I’ve done – they might not have turned out to have the best result.  But so what?   They’ve all brought me to where I am.  Even the things that turned out disastrously, I’ve still learned something (even if its just not to do it again!), or gone down a new path because of it, or made new friends or started a fresh adventure or even just got a funny story from it.

I know what my values are.  I know I don’t set out to hurt anyone or upset anyone. I don’t want to achieve success for myself if it means damaging others.  That isn’t in my values and way of living.  So providing I’m living to those values, I’m going to stop trying to second guess that group of People, especially as I’m not even sure who They are.  If I could put a name to them – would I actually value their opinion?  Would they be people I’d care about if they actually spoke out loud to me and gave me their opinion?  Probably not.

It might be a bit scary, but I’m going to start by saying yes more – yes to things that might be a bit risky because they might make me vulnerable, or I might fail, or I might look a bit daft.  I’m also going to say no – no to things that don’t fit with my values or my aims.  But mainly, I won’t be worrying about what the worst thing that can happen – because regardless of what it is, I know I can handle it and that I’ll come out the other side, with my head held high, with a smile on my face and at the very least, with a story to tell!

 

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